Monday, June 20, 2011

Dealing with the Negative.

Hi there!

I know some of y'all have noticed my recent 6 month hiatus from YouTube and the blogging community. Not a complete hiatus as I've posted a few things here and there, but definitely not a regular appearance.

I had a little Twitter conversation with another blogger and previous YouTuber about why I wasn't making videos anymore or posting a lot on my blog.

I can't even explain to y'all how many times I have thoughts on various videos I want to make and post or blog entries I'd like to make. But in the end, I lack the motivation. I know exactly where my lack of motivation stems from. Negativity.

Some people don't realize that people who blog or post YouTube videos are real people with feelings. Or these people think that because they're hidden behind a computer screen they can go about putting others down and making something that brings joy to others seem like a wasted effort.

I have a lot of other important things going on in life and don't need the extra negativity to throw me off.

I truly enjoy blogging and creating videos. My field of work leaves little aesthetic outlet so I like to express myself through my blog and YouTube. I admit, I've taken the words of a few mean-spirited people to heart and it just discouraged me from putting myself out on the internet again.

I give myself pep talks and have decided to monitor the comments that are posted to my blog and videos. Since it is my little piece of the internet, I do have the right to allow certain communications and not others. I do think this is a good step in the right direction and gives me a sense of control.

So my fellow bloggers and YouTubers, how do y'all deal with the negativity?

23 comments:

  1. Damn, haters gonna hate! Its easy for people to be trolls and post mean, spiteful comments because they're hiding behind a computer screen as anonymous. If they can't put their real name and write that mean comment they're just cowards. Plain and simple, with a lot of time cause they obviously have no life than to post mean comments to people.

    I don't respond to stupid comments people make as anon. I delete it cause they're not worth my time. I had one that kept coming back and posting mean comments over and over again. Like wow you REALLY have NOTHING to do all day, no friends, no life, nothing. I think I wrote something like thanks for visiting and obsessively thinking of me all the time. You want to do my laundry too?

    You do what you need to do, some people don't want to deal with the negative bs, and move on, but don't leave us completely! If you hang around, great! Just remember that there are those that really want to see you here, and the trolls and haters are just cowards! Yeah I said it! Put your name and face next to your mean comments! I dare you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. i deal with negative comments by trying to avoid them, I pre approve comments on my videos, I find also just plain old ignoring them, not even responding to whatever comment or message they left you. i've made so many mistakes when it comes to exposing myself online to the world. if i could turn back time i would have taken more precautions. i would have never given my address out to strangers via swaps, contests. i would have kept sharing personal information to a minimum as much as i could have. i'm not sure what kind of negativity has happened to you or to what extent but im pretty sure i've got the maximum that trolls and haters can inflict on someone ... the only advice that comes to mind when it comes to comments on blogs and yt is, when u get a negative comment... ignore, block and delete... when you don't acknowledge people they tend to go away...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks girlie. I do remind myself that there are more positive than negative people out there contacting me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think I try to rationalize with the negative people or try to understand where their hatred and anger is coming from. But I've realized it's not worth my time to try to understand it.

    Thank y'all for the support and advice! I really do appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this. It's hard when the one thing in your life that ought to be fun and carefree is causing you so much stress.
    Something that helps me personally deal with haters is to face it head-on -- I don't mean to get into a pissing match with them or to be cruel back. I just acknowledge that it hurt and upset me, to myself and to my friends and loved ones. I'll have some people over or go out and vent about it, cry if I have to, and then slowly, gradually I realize I'm surrounded by all my friends, we're having a good time and nothing else really matters.
    I think a lot of people try to let it roll off their backs, and that works sometimes, but it can backfire when someone really gets under your skin; you spend too much time wondering why it bothers you when you 'ought to be stronger than that.' The fact is, that person set out to hurt you and if they did, it doesn't make you any worse or weaker for it. You just have to deal with it and move on.

    I've been following your blog for over 2 years now and I know you'll bounce back. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. The best way to deal with negative people is to void them out of your life. Ignore them. They don't matter. : )

    ReplyDelete
  7. we love you!!! Unfortunately there will always be negative people around us but we just gotta deal with it sometimes. Keep your head up high and all. :) misss you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Honestly, the way to think about it is that a ton of people are benefiting from your videos, blogs, etc., so the haters shouldn't matter. I know that it's really difficult to ignore such hateful, rude comments, but you have to develop and IDGAF attitude about the hate. Let me roll off your shoulders. Haters want to affect you. They want to be talked about. Don't give them that satisfaction. Just block and delete. I see A LOT of hater videos on YT and such, but that is exactly what they want, to be addressed. We as bloggers/vloggers need to stand together and ignore them and they will slither back to where they came from.

    BTW, I love your blog posts. I love how you are a real woman with a real job and still do the beauty thing.

    xo,
    Imani

    ReplyDelete
  9. aw Stephie, I'm sorry to hear that. Simple, I stay blocking, flagging, deleting, and ignoring. Don't let them under your skin, let them be stupid and talk shit; just don't let it phase you. You are YOU, and its beautiful. That's a wrap.

    - Eva<3

    ReplyDelete
  10. you just dont think about it. try to laugh it off because they are just jealous!:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've missed your updates on blog/youtube! I used to read it since you first started!(Not trying to sound stalker here hahaha)

    Honestly, it might be hard to ignore negativity because some people just weren't raised with CLASS and MANNERS. And that's not something you can help. You just have to feel sorry for those people who honestly have nothing better to do.

    "It doesn't matter what people think of you, as long as you are happy with who you are"

    DO what makes you happy. You can't make everyone happy, nor is that your duty to :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. As a semi-'known' Youtuber, I say I don't really feel I have to 'deal' with it because I in 100% honesty, DONT CARE. Any time someone says something to/about you, ask yourself 'does this affect my LIFE in ANY way?'. 100% of the time the answer is NOPE. If it does not affect my relationships, my job, or my education then it doesn't even come close to falling on the list of things I'm going to worry about. It's truly insignificant.

    General 'kill yourself' troll comments are just irrelevant. And as far as people not liking me or correcting things I do or whatever, that's fine with me and I don't feel the need to get defensive about it. Not everyone's going to like you, in real life or on the internet, people are just more likely to TELL you so on the internet because they're anonymous. I can take constructive criticism, I can laugh at myself, and I can agree with some things people don't like about me. I'm really just ok with it.

    Thennn as far as any speculations/accusations (which I rarely get, I'm not big enough haha) it's just like...how would a stranger claim to know things about me that even my closest friends don't? They don't. So, also irrelevant.

    If you're happy with yourself, and YOU know that you maintain good relationships and interactions in your ACTUAL life, youre ALLLL SET.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm so glad you're back! I hope you don't have a problem with those kind of people anymore, they are horrible to deal with. If I were you I would try my best to ignore them but I know that this isn't always possible so I say look at the POSITIVE; the comments and followers and friends you've gained through this experience =)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank y'all so much for the encouragement and advice! In hindsight, I have allowed insignificant trolls get under my skin when in actuality, their words has not had any affect on the important aspects of my life. Despite the faults these people like to point out about me, I'm still successful and proud of where I have gotten myself in life thus far. As MakeupByImani put it, I need to get back to the IDGAF attitude that I used to have (well said hehe).

    I am so thankful to be a part of a positive and supportive community of bloggers and friends :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. aww stephie, i'm so sorry to hear that you're getting such negativity online. i've been a long-time fan of your YouTube / blog way back to when I saw your FOTD posts on Specktra! I would hate to see that these haters are bringing you down. I would say to just ignore them and conquer them like every other obstacle you've conquered in your life. you're better than them and you have countless people who love and support you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm so glad you've decided this, please do come back! I've missed your videos & posts. There are so many people who do enjoy your effort and I think it outweighs the negativity by so much more. <3

    ReplyDelete
  17. there are always gonna be haters but if you ever notice on youtube, the people who post the meanest comments NEVER have videos/pictures posted up. dont let those negative ppl get you down. if u love blogging/making videos, why give it up over insignificant people? there are plenty of ppl (like me) who love ur videos/posts. =]

    ReplyDelete
  18. ive never watched your videos before and this is the first time ive visited your blog but in my opinion, you shouldnt let ANYONE's opinion get to you! i bet theres more people who gives you positive comments rather than negative right?

    bottom line is, if you are not ready yet for negativity, i dont think you should make more videos. people can be really mean sometimes. and they are not going to stop

    ReplyDelete
  19. Y'all are absolutely right. I shouldn't let negative comments get to me and because I had too much going on in life & the added negativity got to me, I decided to step away from YT and blogging for a few months to regroup. I mainly posted this entry to give an explanation as to why I was gone for so long. & also to get advice for myself now, for others who may be going through the same feelings, and maybe even for myself to look back on in the future. I wouldn't be posting entries or videos up if I knew I wasn't ready to face what comes along with the territory.

    In the end, I am the only person who can decide how I let the reactions of others affect me. I can't help if people are negative and I have my head on straight again.

    I do get more positive feedback than negative. I also get constructive criticism which I am always open to. I am very thankful for those who support me and understand where I was coming from when I wrote this entry.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Let me first say that I LOVE your videos and blog posts! You are such an INSPRIRATION to me! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart! <3 (although I'm probably older than you, I'm married and waddling around preggie with our first baby!) :D

    But you inspire me with your cheerful personality, how nice and fun you are, your "realness" and just your sense of fashion and passion for looking nice and being fun and super nice.

    It's such a treat to be able to watch your vids and follow your makup tutorials. I've even tried some of the looks with rave reviews from my hubby.

    And although I'm definitely NOT in shape as you are (you're hot girlie!) you really inspire me to hit the gym and to experiment with different fashions. You're really my inspiration. :)

    I understand that people can be mean, especially when they have the luxury of being anonymous. So maybe just block them out- they're just sad sorry individuals who want to ruin someone's day. So maybe make it so only certain people can comment or make it so no one can comment.

    The ones who are saying mean things, I can tell you, they are just JEALOUS. Plain and simple. I remember when you said that people were talking about your teeth. I was like ??? So that's the only thing they can find to tease you about...they are so incredibly lame and jealous. I was so mad I told my husband! (He was mad too; although he hasn't seen your videos or anything :) Plus I think your teeth are super cute and give you character!

    Please don't let some dummy head trolls put you down and deprive us of your virtual friendship! You're a great girl and there are a lot of us out here who are in your corner!

    I hope you'll feel better and make more vids for us all to enjoy. And if you do, soon it'll be me and my baby girl watching you! Well, she'll probably be sleeping and drooling, but I'll be watching and trying out your makeup tutorials and thinking about trying fashions you suggest and being inspired to hit the gym! <3

    Huggs Always, Imogen.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I've been reading your blog for a long time now (before you were with Mike!) and this is the first time I've commented. I love when beauty bloggers talk about other aspects of their lives, like you do with school and relationship; I think readers can really connect with that and get to know you more as a person, so thank you for that.

    I've been thinking about starting my own blog/YouTube channel for a while now but I've been afraid of getting the negative comments you mention. But this post (and reading other comments) has really helped.

    Keep up your kind and positive personality! We're all behind you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey Steph, i just found you blog and your youtube videos and i absolutely love them. I think you are great! Keep on going strong. i know it's tough but it's so rewarding when the haters and trolls get stumped cause they can't tear you down. :) xoxo Marie

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi Steph,

    I'm only a new YouTuber and haven't had a huge amt of negativity yet! I couldnt imagine how I'd deal with it tho and understand why it would put u off filming.

    I don't have any major advice here. Just thought u should know that I love your videos and used to look forward to them! And your videos were one of the ones that inspired me to make my own vlogs and the reason I started filming! Soy advice would be to focus on the positive and all the people u helped and inspired!


    Love,
    Indian-Raani (iyshwarya)

    ReplyDelete

I love reading your comments & communicating with y'all! Please leave any comments, feedback, suggestions or requests for me and I'll definitely get back to you! XO